random thoughts...

So, I recently out of boredom sent a friend of mine a message asking her opinion on 1) God 2) Religion 3) Adventure 4) Mistakes 5) Music. I haven't recived a reply yet, but it got me to thinking about my opinions on the subjects in question... Prepare to be shocked!!

1) God:

Is there a God? Well, there has to be. Honestly, we cannot be all a coincidence. Does that mean that God is who / what most people think? I don't believe so. I think there's a benevolent and loving force to lend support to those who deserve it. And those that don't. Honestly, we as humans do not deserve anything at all. We are so corrupt in our basic fundamental nature... I think the best way to get over corruption in your soul is to acknowledge it, and fight it. What's the point in ignoring a part of you? Everyone has some bad in them, some judgemental stuck up side that we hide from the rest of the world. Deal with it!! Bring it out into the open, accept that it's there, and then fight it. I think that's what our "God" wants us to do. Bringing us to point number 2:

2) Religion:

I think religion is a good thing, and at the same time, incredibly evil. Take a look at many of the world's wars. People throughout time have tried their hardest to make everyone else believe what they believe. I think this is from fear. If you're really secure in your beliefs, you shouldn't have a need to make everyone else belive what you do.

It works off the principle of "1 000 000 people can't be wrong" - If everyone in the world believes that grass is purple, all of a sudden, we call grass purple. Then someone comes along and says, nope, sorry, I see grass as yellow. All of a sudden, there's an uproar - some people get bored with calling the grass purple, and say, ok, so we've decided it's yellow. Well, the purple grass people are all upset, because all of a sudden, they could be wrong. And then you get a new group who says, we don't think grass is really either colour, maybe we're going to say it's blue. Then the yellow grass people and the purple grass people are both in an uproar because they could BOTH be wrong. Then many other people come on the scene with new ideas, new colours for grass, and new shades for the colours already in existence, and that's what they think is right. All of a sudden everyone is upset and indignant because they all want to be right, and they all think everyone else is wrong. And they need to be right, because if they're wrong - what else is there in life??

What they don't realize is that they have lost sight of that fact that the grass is there. Who cares what colour it is? Who cares what you think it should be? It's still there - it still feeds animals, and houses insects. It still feels the same, and still smells the same. I mean, forget the name grass, call it frunz. This grass, this frunz, this whatever it is, it's still there!

It's the same way with religion - we get so caught up in who is right, and what is right that we forget what's really important - the fact that there is something out there bigger than us. God, Allah, Buddah, Master, Lord, Creator, Dude - call Him (it?) whatever you want, but don't forget that He's there. So many people base their lifes on their religion instead of the focus of the religion...

Another thing that really really bugs me about religion is the love thing. Once you put conditions on love, put it in a box, try to define it, it really isn't love anymore. I mean, if you want to love someone do it. Just love them. If you want to serve the homeless, do it, if you want to treat people nicely, do it, but do it from love, not because some book tells you to. Nothing against the Bible - it's a wonderful, poetic beautiful book of ideals and morals, but don't use it as a rulebook for your life! Don't live your life on the thought that "I'm doing this because it's the right thing to do in accordance to the bible/God/Christanity"

You need to make your own rulebook - your own set of morals, your own set of ideals, and accept that they might be right for you, but not for anyone else. My only advice in that regard is to keep love in mind while you're doing it. To me, God is Love! What I feel when I think of God is someone, something somewhere that knows me, that understands me, that understands everyone. And loves us because we are so imperfect it's beautiful. I look at trees and see imperfections, and feel an immense love, because it reminds me of how imperfect I am, and how loved I can be... I wish people could stop trying to define everything - accept it's a mystery, no one is completely right, and just LOVE!!

3) Adventure:

Experience it all!! Adventure is something we all need - something essential! Go adventuring once a day!! Do something stupid, something risky, something that makes you want to piss yourself!! Do something that scares you so bad you shake! For me it's a good conversation, a ride on a crotch rocket at 252km/h, streaking stone cold sober with my friends at 3 in the morning, driving way the heck out to somewhere I shouldn't be in the company van, knowing that if I get caught, I could get fired, it's meeting new people, going to a computer game party knowing full well that I've never played computer games before. Adventure is putting yourself out there in the world, doing something out of your element! haha, driving to BC, and back in a rental car, staying up all night, crying in front of someone you just met, laughing at nothing, just being yourself. Adding adventures to your life enriches your experiences, and exponentially increases your wisdom!!

4) Mistakes:

There is no such thing!! everything is a learning experience!! The most valuable thing you can do for yourself is give yourself permission to learn, to experience, to feel. Once you give yourself permission to live your life, you won't ever stop. I gave myself permission to feel pain, and hurt at times. What's more, I accepted that as much as I disliked the idea, the reality of it was I am going to feel pain. People hurt, life hurts, love hurts, loss hurts, risks hurt. Without it though, you're not really living. I'm not as afraid of death as other people are - I know it happens. You will lose people, people will lose you, you will lose yourself. But is there not a death every day? A death of an ideal, a death of a friendship, a death of some sort? I welcome things in me dying - in fact I have actively tried to kill some parts of me - like the needy part, the part that needs to be loved, and payed attention to... or at least the mannerisms in which I used ot express that need...

I accept that I take risks with my body. I do stupid things like ride crotch rockets at 252km/h with a guy I barely know in jeans and a t shirt. But I wouldn't trade it for anything - the feeling I get from it makes the risk worth it to me. I ask myself every time I get on that bike if I am willing to die for it, if I'm willing to die while I'm riding. The answer is yes. You can't be afraid of death, because then you're afraid of living. You can't be afraid of pain, because then you're afraid of loving. You can't be afraid of loving, because then you're afraid of yourself. Give yourself permission to be afraid, and then accept it, and then fight the fear!! Fine, go out and make mistakes in your life, make tons of them - then learn what you're willing to risk and what you're not. Learn your limits and your boundaries. Learn that making mistakes is ok, and really, there is no such thing as mistakes a long as you're willing to learn from them...

5) Music:

To many people, music is irrelevant. Not me - I use it as a backdrop to my life, a trigger to my emotions, a pick me up a calm me down, an inspiration, and a consolation. Music is there for me when I have a hard time being there for myself, because in the end, the only one I really can depend on is myself. Music eases that just a little bit. I can hear God in music, can hear love in music, and love the way it makes me feel. I have a song for everything!! Never going to stop - rob zombie - one of the greats of mylife - Bitch by meridith brooks is another one, there's just too many to list... Music is like a metaphor - there's so much of it that I can't possibly listen to it all. It's like life - there's so much of it that I can't possibly live it all - I'm going to give it a damn good try though...

On that note, I believe I should go back to work... although this has been a really really wonderful experience to delve into my own thoughts for a couple hours...

Love!!